Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Lawak Cari Calon Isteri [18SX]




Seorang emak berasa risau terhadap anak terunanya yang masih belum berkhwin lagi..

Maka emak tersebut mengambil keputusan memilihkan calon untuk anaknya itu..

Calon-calonnya

CALON PERTAMA:

Pekerjaan : Operator Telefon

"Ala Mak...nih tak syiioookkkk....dia nih selalu cakap:

SILA TUNGGU SEBENTAR,TUNGGU SEBENTAR"

CALON KEDUA:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit sawa matang, mata bulat dan besar,badan 100% bergetah, BUKITnya just nice

Pekerjaan : Setiausaha

Lalu sianak lelaki berkata "Nih lagi tak syyiiiooookkkk...asyik-asyik

HARAP BERSABAR...BERSABAR"

Si ibu pon gelisah kerana kebanyakkan calon yang ditunjukkan tidak memenuhi kriteria anak lelakinya... lalu dia pon menjemput calon terakhir...

CALON TERAKHIR:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit gelap-gelita,mata sepet sikit, badan 99.99999% bergetah, BUKITnya kurang memuaskan

Pekerjaan : Guru.

Tanpa segan silu dan memikir panjang lalu si anak lelaki ini bersetuju untuk memilih calon ini. Lalu si ibu pon pening kepala lalu bertanya kepada anak lelakinya mengapa dipilih calon ini.Lalu anaknya pun memberitahu... "Hah! mak nih la syyiookkk sikit...kalau cikgu best sikit..pasal dia selalu cakap

ULANG SEKALI LAGI, BUAT BANYAK-BANYAK, SALAH NIH,BUAT MACAM NIH 10 KALI LAGI, TERUSKAN..HAH..TERUSKAN DAH BETUL TUH..."

Tiba-tiba adik lelaki tersebut yang berumur 10 tahun menyampuk plak...

"Bang!!!....Konduktor bas mini lagi bagus bang.... Diorang selalu cakap....

"NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT...MASUK,MASUK.....

MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI...DALAM LAGILAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

MASUK BELAKANG....BELAKANG LAGI,LAGI BELAKANG SANA

...BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG!...........




Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Nice Advertisement


See how creative they design a nice advertisement..

  1. Black In White.


  2. Broken English.


  3. Reduce Your Speed.


  4. Save the Energy.


  5. So Soft.


  6. Road Safety.



  7. Malaysia people's also have created a good advertisement..

    I give one example, How about I say 'Burung apa?'

    What u all will answer? (hahhahaha aku dah mula nak melalut)..

    That all for now..




Thursday, March 25, 2010

Tali Pinggang Keledar-Teknik Pemasangan Terbaru


Jabatan Keselamatan Jalan Raya telah menjalankan kajian mengenai cara teknik baru pemakaian tali pinggang.

Keputusannya amat memeranjatkan kerana selama ini tali pinggang keledar bertujuan untuk mengurangkan kecederaan apabila berlaku kemalangan, tetapi dengan teknik pemasangan ini bukan sahaja kecederaan malah kemalangan dapat dikurangkan sehingga 95%..

Cara pemasangan tali pinggang yang dicadangkan adalah seperti rajah di bawah..



Keputusan kajian mendapati dengan teknik terbaru ini ia dapat menyelamatkan nyawa dan merendahkan tekanan darah tinggi sehingga 40%..

Selamat mencuba..

Kredit to Today's Joke




Thursday, December 10, 2009

Husband For Sale


A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch ... . You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!




Friday, November 20, 2009

TV or Hphone


Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out bring HP.

No money, sell TV. Got money change HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don't pay the services will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but handphone is cute, slim, curvy and very portable at any time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote.. HP don't have..

Last but not least....... .

TV do not have virus, but h/p yes, have VIRUS, once get it, HABIS LA!

hahahahaha.. .....

so better choose TV!




Sunday, November 1, 2009

Internet is NOT the only solution to your life

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the
application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do
not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in
his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato
crate.

He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he
succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and
returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday
earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of
delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US...

He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.

When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.

The man replied,'I don't have an email.'

The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded
to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e
mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at
Microsoft!'

Moral of the story

Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email, you are closer to being a office
boy/girl, than a millionaire..........





Related Posts with Thumbnails